Amber Pritchard, Author at Arrow Child & Family Ministries

When Angela Humphrey became a foster parent, she decided she would open her doors to the kids many thought would be too rowdy or rebellious to take in – teenage boys

She knew teens would be a good fit for her home. The daughter of a coach, Angela’s childhood home was a neighborhood hub for the kids her father coached. She wanted to follow in her father’s footsteps to be a positive force in the lives of teens.

Angela Humphrey with one of her former foster kids on graduation day — Angela Humphrey with one of her
former foster kids on graduation day

Angela decided to dive into foster care when she learned how many foster teens were at risk for dropping out of school, and how few went on to achieve higher education.

“I felt like this was the group that most people walked away from, and didn’t want to take a chance with,” Angela said. “But I was always the type of person who was up for the challenge. I thought that would be the best avenue for me.”

Angela was determined not to walk away from any child. For example, one of her foster boys, Christian, was in danger of failing 8^th grade and wanted to drop out of school. However, she knew he was capable of doing the work. She asked the principal if he could still advance to the high school, and make up the work he’d failed in junior high without being retained.

“At first she said no, and I cried and cried and cried,” Angela said. “But eventually, she told me she saw how diligent and dedicated I was to this boy, and she had a change of heart and was going to pass him. So he went to high school, and all four years there, he never had any issues.”

On his last day of high school, Angela went with him to meet with his Arrow caseworker. The board in the conference room had dropout rates written on it, and unprompted, he remarked on how high they were, and how easily he could have become one of those statistics on the board.

“It all came full circle,” Angela said.

Another foster child who Angela is extremely proud of is D. D is a very hard worker who not only completed high school, but is now taking a full course load in college and is an assistant manager at Domino’s Pizza. Even though he is old enough to have “aged out” of the system, the love and support Angela showed him lead him to choose to stay in her home in extended care. Now, he is a role model for his foster brothers and sisters.

“He lets them know, ‘I was once where you are,'” she said. “He lets them know that when I’m tough on them, it’s because I love them.”

Besides Christian and D, Angela has fostered dozens of other children. She said people hesitate to bring teens into their homes because they think they are set in their ways and will be rebellious, but she said anyone can change for the better, no matter their age.

“Not every teenager wants your love, at first,” she said. “What they want most is your understanding, and with understanding comes respect, and with respect come trust, and with trust comes love.”

But Angela was not alone fostering these kids. Her grown son and daughter, Darryl and Deonna, both became foster parents too, and have been a significant help. Angela said seeing her children become foster parents was among the proudest moments of her life.

She’s particularly enjoyed being a “foster grandmother” to even more kids in need, and they in turn have inspired her, especially a boy named Ben, who her son fostered. Angela and her son were incredibly close to Ben, but he passed away from cancer in 2013.

“Ben gave us courage,” Angela said. “Whenever you think you have it bad, try being the kid in foster care who has cancer. He gave us the courage to keep going on.”

Angela continues to foster in honor of Ben. She’s fostered more than 70 children, and is currently fostering 6 children with a 7th on the way.

If you, like Angela, have a heart for foster teens, we would love to give you more information on how to become a foster parent. Go to www.arrow.org/foster to learn more.

Instead of a more traditional Mother’s Day present, our friends at Living Word Church of the Nazarene gave the mothers in their congregation the gift of giving!

In years past the church had given mothers flowers, or other small gifts. This year, in accordance with their mission statement to “see life transformed through the living Word of God,” they made a donation to Freedom Place on behalf of all of the mothers.

“We told them the Sunday before that we would be giving the best Mother’s Day gift ever,” said Rev. Larry Morris. “When we revealed what it was, they were thrilled. We had a great reception of that.”

The gift inspired more donations to Freedom Place from individual members of the congregation. When all was said and done, Freedom Place received $1,885.

Thank you Living Word Church! We are so blessed by your generous gift.

When Ken Keung was removed from abuse and neglect and placed in foster care, the love and commitment he received from his Arrow foster family changed his life forever.

His family recognized Ken needed a way to express himself, and had a gift for art, so they gave him a set of oil paints. That gift set Ken on a path of honing his skill, and eventually to studying art in college.

Ken Keung presents his Arrow caseworker with a special gift (inset: one of Ken's paintings) — Ken Keung presents his Arrow caseworker with a special gift (inset: one of Ken’s paintings)

“My foster family loves my paintings, and they encourage me so much,” Ken said. “Right now they own four of my paintings in their house, and I will paint more because I feel like this is my home, and they treat me like a family member.”

The influence Ken’s foster family had on his life was pivotal in his success as an adult. The love and encouragement they showed him helped him find purpose in his life.

Unfortunately, many foster children will not get the same opportunities as Ken. There are 400,000 children in care across the nation, but not enough foster families to take them in. Some may never receive the love and guidance they need and deserve. These children are placed in group homes, or sometimes even end up living in psychiatric hospitals for an extended period of time.

The best environment for foster children is a home with a family, but the reality is some foster children are much less likely to be placed in a home than others due to their race or age. Foster parents who open their homes to children have the option of choosing who they will take into their home. Children under 2 years old who are white are the easiest to place. Unfortunately, African American children and those who are older than 8 years old are the least likely to be matched with a family of their own.

Additionally, many parents want to add to their family through foster-to-adopt, and while this is a wonderful goal, there is a need for foster parents who are willing to take in children who may never become available for adoption. About a third of children in state care have a permanency goal of reunification with their biological parents, and these children need a foster home just as much as those whose permanency goal is adoption. The average length of stay in foster care for these children is just over a year.

There are children entering foster care today that need your spare room for a while. Those children may be a racial minority, or a teenager. They may need to stay for a few months, or a few years. Regardless of race, age or length of stay, they all desperately need a stable home environment where they can feel safe and heal from the trauma that brought them into state care.

Learn what it takes to be a committed foster family by attending and information meeting. Visit www.arrow.org/meeting for the date, time and location of the next info meeting in your area.

Deborah Cuevas speaks with Arrow Founder Mark Tennant at a recent luncheon.

After losing her caregiving grandmother at a young age, 10 years of being forced to move from home to home in the foster care system, and struggling with an eating disorder, 17-year-old Deborah Cuevas was at the lowest point in her life.

Finally a family wanted to adopt her and she was exciting about the future. But at the last moment the family changed their mind, and Deborah’s hope of ever having a family was snuffed out.

That’s when she reluctantly came to Crossroads Community, an Arrow transitional living program for young women who will soon age out of foster care. This is where her hope for a better future was rekindled.

At first, the strict rules and supervision only frustrated her, but that attitude soon changed.

“What I didn’t understand was that this place that I thought was taking life from me, was the place God would use to give me life,” Deborah said.

While at Crossroads, Deborah learned basic life skills, like how to cook for herself, and clean. She learned job skills and was encouraged to go to college. Most importantly, she developed a relationship with Christ that gave her hope for her life.

Deborah often quotes Joel 2:25, when God says “I will repay you for the years the locusts have eaten.” She’s taken that verse to heart, and says she constantly sees God’s hand in her success after enduring years of hardship.

After Crossroads, Deborah was accepted to Central Baptist College and graduated with a degree in social services, with the dream to help other foster care youth. While in college, she met her husband, Marvin, who was adopted at 13. Their common background gave them a unique insight into each other and a stronger relationship.

Because both Deborah and Marvin know what it feels like to be orphaned, they both felt the tugging of God on their hearts to advocate for children of similar backgrounds.

“My husband and I decided to foster, and in the last two years, we have been blessed to foster 17 children ranging from 4 months to 15 years old,” she said. “Looking back, foster care saved my life …. I realized I wanted more for my life than what my past told me.… I wanted to be the chain-breaker for my family.”

Almost a year ago, a teenage foster girl entered the Cuevas home, and everything changed. She was broken, but not defeated, and Deborah knew that look all too well. The couple decided they wanted to adopt her, but were immediately turned down because of their young age. However, they didn’t lose faith.

On December 23rd, she became Faith Destiny Cuevas, and forever Deborah’s daughter.

“Love heals … and every child deserves a family,” Deborah said. “No child should ever have to grow up in a group home or age out of foster care…. Arrow is the key element to making this happen.”

To learn more about Arrow Crossroads Community, go to https://www.arrow.org/services-programs/residential-services/transitional-living/

Dozens of students from schools all over Pennsylvania recently gathered at Arrow’s Stand Up Youth Leadership Conference in State College to combat harassment and bullying.

The conference is designed to give high school sophomores and juniors the leadership skills they need to make a difference in their schools and communities. Throughout the three-day event, they attended seminars, learned about their unique leadership styles, and developed plans to implement anti-harassment programs in their schools. The students came up with basic concepts before the conference started, then used the event to flesh them out. The projects varied widely, from awareness campaigns to mentoring programs, and beyond.

Andrea Czartoryski, who coordinated the conference, said one of her favorite student project concepts was an interactive art exhibit. The students planned to build large cages to represent different sorts of abuse, such as cyber bullying or domestic abuse, and have live actors inside. Keys to the cages would either be outside the cages to represent how peers must come together to support victims, or inside the cages to represent how victims must sometimes empower themselves to leave their abusers.

Students from another school that serves grades K – 12 recognized the large spread of ages could make the student body feel disjointed, and planned a mentoring program to proactively connect younger and older students, which would in turn create a culture in which bullying isn’t tolerated.

“We set the bar really high, but I think that gave them the motivation to dig deeper and think about more than planning a nice project, but really think about themselves in terms of leaders who could create actual change,” Andrea said.

Participants said they enjoyed the conference, especially meeting with students from other schools, bouncing ideas off one another, hearing from guest speakers and having time to themselves to delve into their projects.

“I don’t feel limited to one thing,” said Omar, a student who attended the conference. “I can be free and get my thoughts out. It’s a lot of fun, but I’m also learning about myself and my classmates.”

The students won’t be on their own as they go back to their respective schools. Mentors from the conference will work with them to see their plans implemented over the remainder of this school year and the beginning of the next.

In November, the schools will turn in a final progress report to tell how their projects impacted their schools.

“We hope all of our teams got a good sense of where they are going with their projects so they can go back to their schools and get started,” Andrea said

When a child is taken from an abusive situation, many times the best option is to put them under the care of an adult they already know and trust, like an aunt, a grandparent or even a teacher.

Being placed with a familiar person can lessen the fear and anxiety children may have about being in foster care. But these placements have their own unique needs and challenges, which is why Arrow recently launched a pilot program focused on kinship care.

“Our kinship families need someone to help walk them through the process—someone who is 100% focused on them when they need help becoming licensed,” said Kari Dodson, Arrow’s new Kinship Coordinator.

About a third of all foster children are in kinship placements. When a child is removed from a home, CPS first looks to see if a family member, or even a close friend, is available to give the child the love and care they deserve.

“It’s always traumatic when a child is removed, but kinship care certainly makes it easier because they’re not going with strangers,” Kari said. “They know the home and they know the family.”

But that means families who had not thought about fostering a child before may suddenly find themselves in need of a license, and quickly. If a kinship family can’t make the regular Arrow trainings, Kari plans to have additional flexible trainings for them.

Additionally, Kari will visit kinship homes early in the certification process to make sure everything is compliance. For instance, state rules mandate that homes can’t have burglar bars, and medicine must be locked away. With Kari’s help, kinship families won’t have to delay their license due to an oversight of a safety regulation.

Kari said she loves working with kinship families because of their dedication to their foster kids.

“They come in with a commitment to the kids, they just flat out need help with the license, and a lot of times they end up adopting if the parents’ rights are terminated,” Kari said. “It’s much more rare for them to give up saying ‘It’s too hard’ or ‘It’s not what I thought.’”

If you or someone you know needs help becoming a foster home for a kinship placement, you can email Kari at [email protected].

On a recent sunny afternoon outside the home of Arrow CEO Scott Lundy, 16-year-old Dylan Lundy playfully tackled his younger brother, Joey, to let their younger sister Jessie “score” by dribbling a basketball past them.

The way they laughed and teased each other, they looked like a typical group of siblings. You might not guess they’re not related by birth.

Dylan, 11-year-old Joey and 10-year-old Jessie were all adopted by Scott and his wife Stacy. Their adoption journey has led the Lundy family to be incredibly close. Because of their common adoption experience, the Lundy children have a deep connection that is seen in their devotion to one another.

“We were all brought together,” Dylan said. “We were all sent as gifts from God, because that was his plan all along.”

That isn’t to say there haven’t been struggles for both the kids and Scott and Stacy—one of the best examples being the very first day Dylan became part of the family.

He had just been born when Scott and Stacy got a call from the placement agency asking if they wanted to meet him in just one hour.

“The caseworker placed him in my arms, and I looked down at him and I just started crying,” Stacy said. “We instantly knew he was supposed to be ours…. and we had nothing, not even a car seat to take him home in. We had to leave him there with the caseworker while we ran to Target.”

They rushed to Target and told the store associates they were about to pick up a baby and needed a crib, clothes, diapers—the works. The Target employees helped them fill their cart with all the essentials, and as the Lundys left the store, they received a round of applause.

One struggle for Joey has been getting teased about being adopted, but he has a good comeback for bullies.

“I just say to them ‘At least my parents got to choose me!”

But the biggest challenge for Joey and Jessie has been not knowing their birth parents. Both are very anxious to search for them, when they get a bit older.

“One negative is you don’t know where they are, or even who they are,” Jessie said. “But the positive side is you have a family that can care for you, and love you and raise you.”

Scott said adoptive children wondering about their birth parents is natural, and not something to be afraid of.

“Don’t squelch that need,” Scott said. “Don’t avoid it. It’s a very real need, and something to be out in the open with.”

Dylan’s situation is different. The Lundys have a relationship with his birth mother, and see her and her children every Christmas. The kids love playing together, and Dylan is thankful to know them.

“I like being part of their lives,” he said. “They love my mom and dad. They know I’m with a good family, and I think it’s good to remember who started my life.”

For foster and adoptive parents hesitant to have a relationship with their child’s birth parents, Stacy said to not be afraid to reach out, because it can be beneficial for everyone.

“It’s not a fearful thing,” Stacy said. “Knowing what they gave you, you feel connected to them.”

All of these experiences have affected how Scott performs his role as CEO of Arrow. He said being an adoptive parent himself gives him insight as to how his decisions will impact our families.

“I can draw on our own experiences with regards to training, advocacy with licensing, legislation, etc.,” Scott said. “I always think how will this action affect our families and how will it affect our kids.”

Like many Arrow families, the Lundys see the weaving together of their adoption struggles and triumphs as something beautiful. It started with the tremendous pain of not being able to conceive, but now has blossomed into the ultimate blessing.

“This is the story God wrote for our family,” Stacy said. “It’s a gift to live it, to share it, to see what a blessing it’s been.”

One of our Amarillo foster families helped reunite a family of eight when they gave an incredible gift to the birth mother of their foster children!

The Neal family has been fostering three children who are part of a sibling group of seven for the past year, and have been supportive and encouraging toward the children’s birth mother. At a recent permanency conference, a CPS caseworker expressed concern about the mother being unable to afford a vehicle that could transport the children safely, which would postpone their reunification dates.

“The conference ended without a conclusion,” said Kelsi Vines, the Neal’s AFS. “Everyone wondered how a single mother could find a suitable vehicle in such a short amount of time with no support.”

When the Neals heard about the possibility of the reunification dates being further delayed, they decided to gift the children’s birth mother with their newest minivan! Now, reunification is moving forward as planned.

“Foster families who choose to walk alongside biological parents, when possible, play a huge role in encouraging and providing support during undoubtedly the lowest point in that parent’s life,” Kelsi said. “The Neals have been a great example of the love of Christ during this foster journey– they give and give and give, even without any security of seeing their little ones again once reunified. Surely, this is the unconditional love Christ so often spoke of– no strings attached, no debt incurred, freely given to those in need.”

In this post, blogger Lauren Casper shares with us the story of a day at Trader Joe’s when she was struggling to get her adoptive children to behave. She was incredibly frustrated and near tears when a Trader Joe’s employee reminded her what being an adoptive parent is all about– giving love and hope to children.

I was tired, hurried, frustrated, and ready to just go home. John was pushing Mareto in the cart just as fast as he could to leave the store before the melt down got worse. We were frantically trying to open up a cereal bar in an effort to stem the tears. Arsema was strapped to my chest in the ergo carrier watching it all through wide eyes. Sweat beads were forming on my forehead, caused in part by my embarrassment, but mostly from the heat and amount of energy I was exerting by running through Trader Joe’s with my 18 pound baby strapped to my chest and my toddler year old screaming behind me.

I sure didn’t feel like I was going to be in the running for any mom of the year awards. I felt like a hot mess. In fact, I was sincerely hoping that no one was looking at us too closely… that somehow we were invisible to the people bustling around us. It was chaotic, exhausting, and an unfortunately all too common experience for us.

Our family doesn’t exactly blend in with the wall paper. Not only are we two white parents with a brown son and daughter (something that causes enough stares and questions all by itself), but our son has noticeable developmental delays and different behaviors caused by his autism, and our daughter has physical differences with her missing and webbed digits. In other words, when we all go out together we stand out. Usually I don’t mind, and often I love it. My children are beautiful and so is our story.

Sometimes though, on the days when we are very far from having it together, I do mind. Those days I just want to blend in with the crowd and hide far away from the curious stares. Some days I get tired of it all and just want to be a family. Not the adoptive family. Not the family with special needs children. Not the unique family… just a family. This was one of those days.

I was close to tears myself as John took Mareto to put the cart away. I rushed through the doors with Arsema on my chest to get to the car as quickly as possible when a voice behind me slowed my steps.

“Ma’am!!” She called out. I slowed, hoping and praying she wasn’t talking to me.

“Ma’am!” I stopped and turned to find a young woman rushing toward me. A bright smile covered her face and I immediately noticed her beautiful black curls, just like the black curls snuggled on my chest, tickling my chin. Recognizing her shirt, I realized that she worked there and assumed I must have dropped something. I looked at her, holding back my tears, waiting.

“I just wanted you to have this bouquet…” and I looked down to see the flowers in her hands. She quickly continued to explain…

“I was adopted as a baby and it has been a wonderful thing. We need more families like yours.” I stared at her, stunned. Hadn’t she seen what a disaster we were in the store? Didn’t she see that we were barely able to keep it together? Didn’t she see what I felt were all my failures as a mom?

As she handed me the flowers I managed to choke out a thank you and tried to express that this meant the world to me. She patted my shoulder, told me my family was beautiful, and walked back into the store.

My steps were much slower as I finally headed to the car with my arms full of flowers and tears that had spilled over onto my cheeks. On a day when I felt like we were the worst example of family… a day when I hoped no one noticed us… she did. But she didn’t see what I assumed everyone was seeing. She didn’t think what I assumed everyone was thinking. She saw beauty and love and hope and family. She thought we were wonderful and it made her smile.

I wish I had thought to get her name. I wish I could go back and tell her, two years later, what her gift continues to mean to me today. To the beautiful young woman in the parking lot of Trader Joe’s … thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are a treasure.

You can read more of Lauren’s writing at www.laurencasper.com

One of our families found their missing “Linc!”

Two-year-old Lincoln, also known as “Linc”, was adopted last week by Charity and Brenton Robinson near Tyler, just a week after the toddler’s birthday. To celebrate, the Robinsons held a combination birthday and adoption day party last Saturday.

The Robinsons are ecstatic to finally, officially call Lincoln a part of their family!

Lincoln came to live with the Robinsons with special medical needs and developmental delays. He only knew three words—“ball,” “bye” and “shoe,” and he always clenched his hands, which hindered him from developing fine motor skills. Even standing was difficult. In his first physical therapy session, Lincoln fell down more than 40 times.

He had some emotional problems as well. Lincoln was scared to do things like dry his hair with a towel, or pet the family’s dogs. He had trouble communicating verbally, which caused him to become frustrated and lash out.

But that didn’t stop the Robinsons from opening their hearts to him. Children with special needs wait longer on average to be adopted, if they’re adopted at all, because only a small portion of foster parents are willing to take them in. However, the Robinsons believed they could make a difference in Lincoln’s life.

They were right.

Since Lincoln was placed with the Robinsons, he’s totally transformed. Lincoln has overcome his physical and speech problems through six months of therapy three times a week. Now, he’s down to one session a week with an occupational therapist.

He’s grown from a timid child to an affectionate, sociable 2 year old who loves to hug and snuggle. When he’s growing frustrated, Lincoln knows to put himself in “time out” and cool down.

Next week, Lincoln starts T-ball. It’s hard for Charity to recognize her active son as the same little boy who had trouble standing just a few short months ago.

“The most rewarding thing about adopting is seeing the difference in your child over time,” Charity said. “It’s seeing your child starting to love you over time, and blossom into a child he was destined to be, and having your child look into your eyes with such life and love compared to when he was first placed.”

Charity urged foster parents to be open to caring for children with special medical diagnoses.

“Don’t let your head be your guide, but your heart” Charity said. “What God blesses you with may be different than what you had in mind. Do not be caught up on the child’s diagnosis on paper. They can overcome their obstacles if you love them and help them to succeed.”

Go to www.arrow.org/foster to learn more about how you can adopt a child from foster care.

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