Amber Pritchard, Author at Arrow Child & Family Ministries

Our regional adoption coordinator in the DFW Metroplex, Mala Ganapati, answered some questions about adoption, and told us about the most exciting part of her job– seeing children find permanent, loving homes! Her wonderful, insightful responses are below.

Arrow: What would you say to adoptive parents who are scared they won’t feel that paternal bond with their adoptive child in the same way they would a bio child?

Mala: You have to go into foster care/adoption knowing that you have to be unconditional in your affection for the child or children you are fostering or adopting. It is not easy and you have to work at it. Knowing that it is something you have to work on, knowing that it is something that does not come automatically (sometimes) are all good reasons to develop a good support group who understands exactly what you are going through and can help you through the hard times.

Arrow: Can you tell us about one adoption you can’t wait to see finalized on National Adoption Day later this month?

Mala: Wow! Hard to pick…. all adoptions are special, and I cannot wait for so many of them to finalize. I do have a very special one– The Hurds are one of our foster parents who have been with us for almost 12 years! They have adopted a child who is now a young adult and is in college. They have been fostering these two young girls for almost 4 years. The girls have an older sister who they were waiting for to join them in adoption. However, that child had several challenges that did not allow this to happen. The Hurds are a sweet older couple who are more like grandparents to these girls. They had always told us that they would let the girls find a home better suited to their age. When it came to decision time, the Hurds were not able to see their home without the girls! We all have these pre-conceived notions that adoptive families have to look a certain way…I sure did! I knew the Hurds from being their AFS (case worker) and helping then through their first adoption. I was worried. Worried for the girls and the family…..for no good reason. They love the girls, are not worried about their age one bit and are ready to keep the girls in their family forever. We tend to forget that adoption is not just by a person or a couple. Adoption is something that the whole family participates in when it happens. So, I could go on and on…but the girls are getting adopted on National Adoption Day.

Arrow: What’s a common misconception about adoption you want to dispel?

Mala: The families who come claiming that they have to adopt a child younger than their child in order to maintain birth order drives me a little insane! We have done adoptions for years and have seen it done any which way, and I think it has been conclusively proven that it doesn’t matter. What matters is a family that is committed to a child and can see them through the challenges that comes from their position in the family being disrupted. This includes a child struggling to be a big brother or sister when a family has a baby, a child comes into foster care from losing a bio family, or a child being placed for adoption who is coming from a loving foster home.

Arrow: Can you tell us about a common obstacle adoptive families face?

Mala: Families typically are very confident in their desire and ability to care for children or adopt them. They however have to overcome the fact that reality is sometimes more challenging and not give up!

Arrow: If a family is thinking about taking Arrow training classes with the goal of adopting, what advice would you give them as they try to make that decision?

Mala: Take that first step! Come with the intention of learning more and understanding the children and the process. We will hold your hands and help you figure what is right for your family.

If you’d like to learn more about adopting, please come to one of our orientations! To find out when the next orientation is in your area, go to www.arrow.org/meeting.

Arrow foster parents Danny and Brenda Nail were recently recognized for going the extra mile for their foster child—or more accurately, the extra 600 miles.

The Nails were named Foster Parents of the Year by the Texas Alliance of Child and Family Services. They have fostered a 9-year-old boy with special needs since he was a baby.

Last year, the boy needed multiple organ transplants, but there wasn’t a doctor in Texas who could perform the surgery. The nearest doctor who could treat him was more than 600 miles away in Omaha, Nebraska.

The Nails didn’t hesitate. When donor organs became available, they immediately packed their bags and moved to Nebraska. They lived there for about nine months while their foster child recovered before moving back to their home near Dallas.

Since then, they’ve been back to Nebraska for weeks at a time for follow-up appointments.

But Brenda said she doesn’t mind. Yes, she’s missed family holidays and time with her grandchildren, but seeing her foster child regain his health has been worth it.

“It’s been hard, but we’ve seen him blossom,” Brenda said. “I don’t know what we’d do if we didn’t have him. He keeps us going. He’s such a blessing to watch him. He amazes us.”

The boy currently in their care isn’t the first child Brenda and Danny have helped. They have been foster parents for 32 years, and have fostered 88 children.

Brenda described being a foster parent as a rewarding experience.

“The children didn’t ask for all of this to happen to them,” Brenda said. “Some have come into our house so sad, but it’s amazing to see their personality change when you love and protect them.”

Brenda and Danny will be honored at the upcoming Texas Child Care Administrators Conference Oct. 23. They won’t be able to make the conference because they are back in Nebraska for their foster sons’ doctor’s appointment, but Carolyn Bishop, vice president of Texas programs, will accept the award on their behalf.

“To say they are deserving really doesn’t even do it justice,” Carolyn said.

A biological family came together in a unique way to help a group of four foster siblings stay together.

Pam and Ricky Countryman were in their late 50s and empty-nesters, but when they saw a story on their local news about foster care, they felt called to adopt.

Pam talked to her grown daughter, Jennifer Ridgel, about what she had seen on TV, and Jennifer and her husband Jesse also decided they wanted to add to their family through adoption.

“We both had a heart for these kids,” Pam said.

Pam, Ricky, Jennifer and Jesse all trained through Arrow’s Waco office.

Eventually, a sibling group of four, ages 10, 9, 5 and 3, were placed in Pam and Ricky’s care.

But the eldest, Jerome, proved a bit much for Pam and Ricky to handle. They loved him deeply, but struggled with his behavioral issues. That’s when Jennifer and Jesse “stepped up to the plate,” as Pam puts it. They decided they would adopt Jerome instead of Pam and Ricky.“When they arrived, they called me Miss Pam because they had hopped around to several foster homes,” Pam said. “At first, Yvonne (the 9 year old) didn’t call me anything. The second week she was here, she called me grandma. No one else did, just her. When I asked her about it, she said, ‘Because I knew you were the one.’ [Kids] perceive these things.”

“He was already in our family before he was in our home,” Jennifer said.

At that point, Jennifer and Jesse already had two foster placements—Damarion and Ro’Nozzio, and had plans to adopt the two boys, but they were confident in their ability to help Jerome as well. Damarion, Ro’Nozzio and Jermoe’s adoptions were all finalized in the latter half of that year, as were Pam and Ricky’s adoptions of Yvonne, Jaden and Milly, Jerome’s siblings.

Jennifer, Jesse, Pam and Ricky can rely on each other for support, but that doesn’t mean fostering and adopting the siblings has been without obstacles.

“They don’t walk in the door and you love them,” Pam said. “You have to create a bond. You have to create a love for them.”

Jennifer said another challenge is having patience, and pushing forward when it seems progress with the children is slow.

“When you start to peel back the layers, it gets worse before it gets better,” Jennifer said. “People think, ‘If you just give them a good home and love them…’ and that’s true to a certain extent, but some things you have to dig [out].”

However, when the kids do start to heal and mesh with the rest of the family, it’s an amazing thing to witness, Pam said.

“At first, they’re afraid to open up because they think you’re going to leave like everyone else has. You can see a little fear in their hearts,” Pam said. “But then you see them blossom, and that’s a blessing.”

Both Pam and Jennifer said relying on God was paramount during the fostering and adoption process.

“You have to trust that God will get you through it, because the kids are trusting you to make the right decisions,” Jennifer said. “There is no turning back. Once you open your home to these kids you have to be committed.”

Last August, we told you the story of how the Amarillo community came together to renovate a house on our Amarillo campus, and how new foster parents Jason and Amanda Butcher immediately moved in with the goal of changing the lives of the Amarillo children who would be placed with them. You can read about it here.

Less than two months later, hearts are already being healed in the household. Jason and Amy sent us the story below about how God is working in the home to bring comfort to their 6-year-old foster child.

The role of a foster parent has many ups and downs. Having only been at it a couple of weeks myself I have it on good authority from my foster parent friends!

But this past Monday evening we got to be a part of God’s work in our 6-year-old foster son, whom we call little J. After bath time each evening all six of us gather in Little J and (another child’s) room, tucked in to their beds we read aloud. This evening Jason read the story of Creation. He finished the story and I kissed little heads goodnight then went to put baby girl down for bed. Jason stayed as he does each night sitting next to little J’s bed waiting for him to fall asleep.

After a few moments of silence little J tells ‘dad’ very matter of factly, “I think I have something bad in my heart.” Jason asks him what he feels in his heart that is bad and he responds, “At my last two homes, I got real mad a lot, my heart would feel real sad.” Jason waited, listening closely. Little J continued, “Now here with you and mom I feel happy, but I still get mad and I don’t know how to get it out of my heart.”

Dad asked little J if he knew about Jesus. He had heard of Him. He asked if he knew that if you believe in Jesus and ask Him to come and live in your heart and be a part of your life then He will fight for you and you won’t have to be angry anymore, that He will never leave you and will be your protector from now on. Little J asked, “How does Jesus fight?” Dad responded, “With a double edged sword!” “COOL!” said little J. He was sold, he wanted Jesus on his side! He asked dad how he could get Jesus to be with him, and so together Daddy and little J talked and prayed! He fell asleep minutes later with a big smile on his face.

The next morning as I woke him up for school, he opened one eye to look at me and then said, “Mom, I believed in Jesus last night and now my heart is happy!” His teacher reported later that day that he had gone to school talking about what had happened the night before as well.

It amazes me, the heart of a six year old who has been conditioned by this world to be hard and unbreakable could melt before the Lord in just minutes! As a child he doesn’t question, he knows he needs a Savior and he believes in the goodness of our God! Then he goes off about his day telling everyone he can. Oh, to have the faith of a child! But on our end we got to be a part of a miracle, the best kind of miracle there is!

Waco TV station KXXV aired a story on the need for more foster parents in the Waco area Wednesday evening, and Denise Mason, an Ambassador Family Specialist in the Waco office, gave an on-air interview.

About 150 more children are in foster care in McLennan County, where Waco is located, than last year. As a result, the need for safe, loving foster families has risen sharply.

We are excited our Waco team raised awareness about the needs of foster children in their community!

You can view the clip here.

When Joe Johnson learned that foster children often move into a new home with nothing but a trash bag full of belongings, he immediately wondered how Patterson Kia of Arlington could help.

On Tuesday, the car dealership found a way. Patterson Kia’s “Drive for Hope” campaign donated 300 backpacks full of supplies to Arrow Child & Family Ministries in Arlington to hand out to area foster children.

“We want to wish these children the best of luck, and we want them to know we love and care about them,” said Johnson, the dealership’s general manager. “We hope these backpacks will help them along their journeys.”

The red and black Adidas backpacks come stuffed with blankets and pillows, pencils, notebook paper, folders and a composition book.

Arrow will hand out backpacks to the current 113 children in foster care and new ones who come into their care through Child Protective Services. Last year, Arrow placed 330 children in foster homes.

“These children have been through so much by the time they are placed in foster care,” said Jacqueline Clark-Winfrey, a family home developer for Arrow. “The backpacks give them a small piece of comfort. Now they have a little something to call their own.”

Tuesday morning, as employees of Patterson Kia hauled boxes of backpacks into Arrow’s office, Johnson said the company is always looking for ways to give back to its community, including the annual coat drive it organizes with the Arlington school district.

“We feel grateful to be able to participate and help out kids and families in the Arlington area,” Johnson said. “We look forward to working with Arrow in the future on any needs it might have.”

Courtesy MyArlingtonTX

A skull fracture, cancer, an aggressive antibiotic-resistant infection— the first three foster children who came into Pam and Brad Jordan’s home struggled with terrible diseases on top of the trauma of abuse and neglect.

Pam and Brad said it was challenging and at times overwhelming to care for the medically-fragile children, but being their foster parents was the most rewarding experience they could have imagined.

Pam and Brad were the first foster family certified by Arrow in California about five years ago. Arrow was still establishing itself in the state, so they didn’t immediately receive a placement.

“I spoke to God more in those weeks of waiting than I ever have on any one situation in my life,” Pam said. “I specifically asked that He would choose the child for us.”

When they did receive their first foster child, she was a 1-year-old girl who had a skull fracture from being shaken, and required special care and attention. They cared for her for about 10 weeks before a relative was able to adopt her, reuniting her with her siblings.

The second child to come into their home was even more difficult. The infant boy was prone to MRSA infections, a form of staph that’s resistant to antibiotics. They had to wear gloves when they changed him, and wash his clothes and bedding with bleach. Several times, when he had an outbreak, they had to go to the emergency room.

Their third child, maybe the most challenging of all, was a 4-year-old girl suffering from leukemia. The girl needed many, many doctors’ appointments and medications, as well as two surgeries and chemotherapy. The day she came into the Jordan’s home, they met with the girl’s oncologist, who talked them through her complicated medication regimen.

“We had a whole schedule and calendar with different pills for different days,” Pam said. “She was such a little tiny thing, but she would swallow them all.”

Their situation was challenging, but Pam, Brad and their foster children weren’t alone. God was a constant support during difficult times.

“We were scared with each of the children’s conditions and the responsibility we had to care for them, but we trusted God and prayed a lot,” Pam said. “God provided for all our needs, and when it came down to it, what He asked from us was to love these kids.”

The couple also received help and support form Arrow team members, whether they needed advice, or help taking a child to a doctor’s appointment or home visit.

“I could call anytime of the day, and they would be right there,” Pam said.

Now, all three of Pam and Brad’s former foster children have been adopted by other loving families, and are healthy and doing well. Pam and Brad still keep in touch with each one. The third child they fostered, the one who had leukemia, lives just 15 minutes away, and calls them “Grandma Pam and Grandpa Brad.”

They even inspired their own adult biological daughter and her husband to become foster parents one day. The couple plans to begin foster parent training in the near future.

When they do complete training and receive their first foster child, Pam and Brad hope their daughter and son-in-law take as much away from the foster experience as they did, challenges and all.

“Was it hard? Yes! Were we tired? Yes! Were we stressed at times? Yes! Was it worth it? A hundred times yes!” Pam said. “We were blessed beyond measure by those kids and their love. When people would question us how we did it, we just simply stated that we just trusted God and gave love. Everything else fell into place.”

Arrow CEO Scott Lundy completed the ice bucket challenge!

In his challenge video, Scott raised awareness about not only the devastating disease that is ALS, but also the epidemic of child abuse and neglect facing the nation.

Scott in turn challenged Dan Adams, CEO of Cal Farley’s Boys Ranch, and Michael Redden, executive director of New Horizons.

Check out his video below!

Scott Lundy – Ice Bucket Challenge from Arrow on Vimeo.

A vacant house had been sitting on Arrow’s Amarillo campus for years. But Keith Howard, State Director – Panhandle, knew God had a plan for the vacant house – he just wasn’t quite sure what it was.

That is, until all the pieces fell into place perfectly, making way for up to seven more children to become part of an Arrow foster family.

The house hadn’t been used in at least four years and was in need of repairs when about a year ago Keith partnered up with the Texas Panhandle Builders Association – Remodelers Council to renovate the building. The council was looking for a service project, and the house presented a great opportunity to contribute to a meaningful cause.

The council completely renovated the building, which was originally a duplex, to create one big house. They knocked out the dividing wall, created a new kitchen, put in new appliances, light fixtures, bathrooms, repainted, re-floored, put in new trim, and more.

“There’s nothing visible in the house that’s not new,” Keith said.

Additionally, a local Boy Scout installed a deck for his Eagle Scout project.

As the house neared completion, Keith looked for a foster family that could move in. Three families had already declined when he got a call from his friend Jason Butcher. He and his family were missionaries, working with orphanages in Mexico and Guatemala, but were back in the U.S., in Waco, trying to discern what their next ministry opportunity would be.

“I don’t want to be a hindrance, and this might sound crazy,” Jason told Keith over the phone. “But I was praying about our next step, and God said there was something in Amarillo we needed to call you about.”

When Keith told him about the Amarillo house, Jason immediately knew foster care is what he and his family were being called to do. They immediately jumped into training classes in Waco and prepared to move.

The builders finished the home at the beginning of August, and the family immediately moved in. Soon, they’ll have their home study completed, the final step before they can start accepting foster kids into the home.

The family will be able to take in up to seven foster kids, in addition to their three birth children. The large capacity will help keep sibling groups together, and enable more Amarillo kids to stay close to their home community.

It’s amazing to see God work through the hearts of so many volunteers and a willing family to provide such a beautiful facility where foster children will heal, grow and discover His purpose for their lives!

To ensure children are receiving the best possible care, Arrow continuously monitors all aspect of its foster care program. One of the main indicators Arrow team members monitor is stability—how often children move foster homes while in care.

Stability is important for the health and well-being of all children, but for foster children it is critical. Moving a child from foster home to foster home means the child experiences the stress of getting to know a new family, possibly moving to a new community with a new school, and starting all over making friends. All these rapid changes compound the trauma they’ve experienced through abuse and neglect, which could also have a significant impact on the child’s self-esteem.

The stability of children in Arrow’s care far exceeds national measures, which points to better outcomes and a brighter future for Arrow’s kids. In the past year, more than 99% (vs 83% nationally) of foster kids in Arrow’s care for less than a year had two or fewer placements. For kids who were in Arrow foster care for one to two years, more than 98% (vs 60% nationally) had fewer than two placements. And for kids spending more than two years in Arrow’s care, almost 90% (vs 34% nationally) had two or fewer placements.

“Grief and loss comes with every move,” said Andrea Pellerin Requenes, an Arrow foster care program director. “The more frequently they’re moved, the more trauma they experience, so to give kids the best chance to heal, we really want to stabilize them.”