Foster Stories Archives - Page 5 of 6 - Arrow Child & Family Ministries

Last August, we told you the story of how the Amarillo community came together to renovate a house on our Amarillo campus, and how new foster parents Jason and Amanda Butcher immediately moved in with the goal of changing the lives of the Amarillo children who would be placed with them. You can read about it here.

Less than two months later, hearts are already being healed in the household. Jason and Amy sent us the story below about how God is working in the home to bring comfort to their 6-year-old foster child.

The role of a foster parent has many ups and downs. Having only been at it a couple of weeks myself I have it on good authority from my foster parent friends!

But this past Monday evening we got to be a part of God’s work in our 6-year-old foster son, whom we call little J. After bath time each evening all six of us gather in Little J and (another child’s) room, tucked in to their beds we read aloud. This evening Jason read the story of Creation. He finished the story and I kissed little heads goodnight then went to put baby girl down for bed. Jason stayed as he does each night sitting next to little J’s bed waiting for him to fall asleep.

After a few moments of silence little J tells ‘dad’ very matter of factly, “I think I have something bad in my heart.” Jason asks him what he feels in his heart that is bad and he responds, “At my last two homes, I got real mad a lot, my heart would feel real sad.” Jason waited, listening closely. Little J continued, “Now here with you and mom I feel happy, but I still get mad and I don’t know how to get it out of my heart.”

Dad asked little J if he knew about Jesus. He had heard of Him. He asked if he knew that if you believe in Jesus and ask Him to come and live in your heart and be a part of your life then He will fight for you and you won’t have to be angry anymore, that He will never leave you and will be your protector from now on. Little J asked, “How does Jesus fight?” Dad responded, “With a double edged sword!” “COOL!” said little J. He was sold, he wanted Jesus on his side! He asked dad how he could get Jesus to be with him, and so together Daddy and little J talked and prayed! He fell asleep minutes later with a big smile on his face.

The next morning as I woke him up for school, he opened one eye to look at me and then said, “Mom, I believed in Jesus last night and now my heart is happy!” His teacher reported later that day that he had gone to school talking about what had happened the night before as well.

It amazes me, the heart of a six year old who has been conditioned by this world to be hard and unbreakable could melt before the Lord in just minutes! As a child he doesn’t question, he knows he needs a Savior and he believes in the goodness of our God! Then he goes off about his day telling everyone he can. Oh, to have the faith of a child! But on our end we got to be a part of a miracle, the best kind of miracle there is!

Waco TV station KXXV aired a story on the need for more foster parents in the Waco area Wednesday evening, and Denise Mason, an Ambassador Family Specialist in the Waco office, gave an on-air interview.

About 150 more children are in foster care in McLennan County, where Waco is located, than last year. As a result, the need for safe, loving foster families has risen sharply.

We are excited our Waco team raised awareness about the needs of foster children in their community!

You can view the clip here.

When Joe Johnson learned that foster children often move into a new home with nothing but a trash bag full of belongings, he immediately wondered how Patterson Kia of Arlington could help.

On Tuesday, the car dealership found a way. Patterson Kia’s “Drive for Hope” campaign donated 300 backpacks full of supplies to Arrow Child & Family Ministries in Arlington to hand out to area foster children.

“We want to wish these children the best of luck, and we want them to know we love and care about them,” said Johnson, the dealership’s general manager. “We hope these backpacks will help them along their journeys.”

The red and black Adidas backpacks come stuffed with blankets and pillows, pencils, notebook paper, folders and a composition book.

Arrow will hand out backpacks to the current 113 children in foster care and new ones who come into their care through Child Protective Services. Last year, Arrow placed 330 children in foster homes.

“These children have been through so much by the time they are placed in foster care,” said Jacqueline Clark-Winfrey, a family home developer for Arrow. “The backpacks give them a small piece of comfort. Now they have a little something to call their own.”

Tuesday morning, as employees of Patterson Kia hauled boxes of backpacks into Arrow’s office, Johnson said the company is always looking for ways to give back to its community, including the annual coat drive it organizes with the Arlington school district.

“We feel grateful to be able to participate and help out kids and families in the Arlington area,” Johnson said. “We look forward to working with Arrow in the future on any needs it might have.”

Courtesy MyArlingtonTX

A skull fracture, cancer, an aggressive antibiotic-resistant infection— the first three foster children who came into Pam and Brad Jordan’s home struggled with terrible diseases on top of the trauma of abuse and neglect.

Pam and Brad said it was challenging and at times overwhelming to care for the medically-fragile children, but being their foster parents was the most rewarding experience they could have imagined.

Pam and Brad were the first foster family certified by Arrow in California about five years ago. Arrow was still establishing itself in the state, so they didn’t immediately receive a placement.

“I spoke to God more in those weeks of waiting than I ever have on any one situation in my life,” Pam said. “I specifically asked that He would choose the child for us.”

When they did receive their first foster child, she was a 1-year-old girl who had a skull fracture from being shaken, and required special care and attention. They cared for her for about 10 weeks before a relative was able to adopt her, reuniting her with her siblings.

The second child to come into their home was even more difficult. The infant boy was prone to MRSA infections, a form of staph that’s resistant to antibiotics. They had to wear gloves when they changed him, and wash his clothes and bedding with bleach. Several times, when he had an outbreak, they had to go to the emergency room.

Their third child, maybe the most challenging of all, was a 4-year-old girl suffering from leukemia. The girl needed many, many doctors’ appointments and medications, as well as two surgeries and chemotherapy. The day she came into the Jordan’s home, they met with the girl’s oncologist, who talked them through her complicated medication regimen.

“We had a whole schedule and calendar with different pills for different days,” Pam said. “She was such a little tiny thing, but she would swallow them all.”

Their situation was challenging, but Pam, Brad and their foster children weren’t alone. God was a constant support during difficult times.

“We were scared with each of the children’s conditions and the responsibility we had to care for them, but we trusted God and prayed a lot,” Pam said. “God provided for all our needs, and when it came down to it, what He asked from us was to love these kids.”

The couple also received help and support form Arrow team members, whether they needed advice, or help taking a child to a doctor’s appointment or home visit.

“I could call anytime of the day, and they would be right there,” Pam said.

Now, all three of Pam and Brad’s former foster children have been adopted by other loving families, and are healthy and doing well. Pam and Brad still keep in touch with each one. The third child they fostered, the one who had leukemia, lives just 15 minutes away, and calls them “Grandma Pam and Grandpa Brad.”

They even inspired their own adult biological daughter and her husband to become foster parents one day. The couple plans to begin foster parent training in the near future.

When they do complete training and receive their first foster child, Pam and Brad hope their daughter and son-in-law take as much away from the foster experience as they did, challenges and all.

“Was it hard? Yes! Were we tired? Yes! Were we stressed at times? Yes! Was it worth it? A hundred times yes!” Pam said. “We were blessed beyond measure by those kids and their love. When people would question us how we did it, we just simply stated that we just trusted God and gave love. Everything else fell into place.”

A vacant house had been sitting on Arrow’s Amarillo campus for years. But Keith Howard, State Director – Panhandle, knew God had a plan for the vacant house – he just wasn’t quite sure what it was.

That is, until all the pieces fell into place perfectly, making way for up to seven more children to become part of an Arrow foster family.

The house hadn’t been used in at least four years and was in need of repairs when about a year ago Keith partnered up with the Texas Panhandle Builders Association – Remodelers Council to renovate the building. The council was looking for a service project, and the house presented a great opportunity to contribute to a meaningful cause.

The council completely renovated the building, which was originally a duplex, to create one big house. They knocked out the dividing wall, created a new kitchen, put in new appliances, light fixtures, bathrooms, repainted, re-floored, put in new trim, and more.

“There’s nothing visible in the house that’s not new,” Keith said.

Additionally, a local Boy Scout installed a deck for his Eagle Scout project.

As the house neared completion, Keith looked for a foster family that could move in. Three families had already declined when he got a call from his friend Jason Butcher. He and his family were missionaries, working with orphanages in Mexico and Guatemala, but were back in the U.S., in Waco, trying to discern what their next ministry opportunity would be.

“I don’t want to be a hindrance, and this might sound crazy,” Jason told Keith over the phone. “But I was praying about our next step, and God said there was something in Amarillo we needed to call you about.”

When Keith told him about the Amarillo house, Jason immediately knew foster care is what he and his family were being called to do. They immediately jumped into training classes in Waco and prepared to move.

The builders finished the home at the beginning of August, and the family immediately moved in. Soon, they’ll have their home study completed, the final step before they can start accepting foster kids into the home.

The family will be able to take in up to seven foster kids, in addition to their three birth children. The large capacity will help keep sibling groups together, and enable more Amarillo kids to stay close to their home community.

It’s amazing to see God work through the hearts of so many volunteers and a willing family to provide such a beautiful facility where foster children will heal, grow and discover His purpose for their lives!

To ensure children are receiving the best possible care, Arrow continuously monitors all aspect of its foster care program. One of the main indicators Arrow team members monitor is stability—how often children move foster homes while in care.

Stability is important for the health and well-being of all children, but for foster children it is critical. Moving a child from foster home to foster home means the child experiences the stress of getting to know a new family, possibly moving to a new community with a new school, and starting all over making friends. All these rapid changes compound the trauma they’ve experienced through abuse and neglect, which could also have a significant impact on the child’s self-esteem.

The stability of children in Arrow’s care far exceeds national measures, which points to better outcomes and a brighter future for Arrow’s kids. In the past year, more than 99% (vs 83% nationally) of foster kids in Arrow’s care for less than a year had two or fewer placements. For kids who were in Arrow foster care for one to two years, more than 98% (vs 60% nationally) had fewer than two placements. And for kids spending more than two years in Arrow’s care, almost 90% (vs 34% nationally) had two or fewer placements.

“Grief and loss comes with every move,” said Andrea Pellerin Requenes, an Arrow foster care program director. “The more frequently they’re moved, the more trauma they experience, so to give kids the best chance to heal, we really want to stabilize them.”

It’s not skin color, or age, or marital status that determines who is family to whom, but a powerful connection of love that binds families together.

That’s how Arrow team member Kellee sees it.

Kellee is a single, Caucasian woman who adopted an African American toddler, Travis, last June. Though the pair may not be what comes to mind when you’re asked to picture a conventional family, their situation is actually quite common.

About 13,000 single women and 1,400 single men adopted a child in 2011, accounting for about a third of adoptions.

Kellee said she knew she wanted to adopt one day from the time she was 15 or 16 years old. At the time, she pictured herself adopting internationally.

But as she learned about the thousands of children in the United States in need of a family, her feelings changed. Kellee started working at Arrow five years ago, and became very familiar with the adoption process, and what she could expect as a foster parent.

After turning 34, she felt the time was right for her to become a mom.

Arrow employees aren’t allowed to train and adopt through Arrow, so Kellee went through foster parent training with another area nonprofit. All went smoothly, and before she knew it, she was fostering 17-month-old Travis.

His parental rights had already been terminated, so Kellee knew from the beginning that he was eligible for adoption.

“I felt like my prayer was answered,” Kellee said. “I had asked God to make it clear if the child placed in my home was going to be with me forever, or to make it clear if they were going to go.”

For a while after Travis was placed in her care, friends and family would ask Kellee if she “felt like a mother,” and at first, she wasn’t sure. Having never had any biological children it was unclear what motherhood “should” feel like. There wasn’t any sort of epiphany when the answer became a definitive yes, but over time as she and Travis bonded she found herself thinking about him more and more throughout the day, looking forward to playing with him during the evenings, and constantly worrying about him as all mother’s do. That’s when Kellee started to see that motherhood doesn’t have to feel or look a certain way. It is what naturally forms between mother and child over time. The routines and rituals of the days spent together. On June 25, after more than a year of fostering, Kellee officially adopted Travis

Her family has come to love Travis, too. Kellee worried her older family members, who grew up in a segregated south, may not be open to having a black family member, but it never became an issue.

“It’s amazing to see how your family makes that shift with you,” Kellee said. “They just have to get comfortable with it, just as you have to.”

Kellee’s extended family, as well as her friends and coworkers from Arrow, are always offering help and advice, which makes being a single parent easier.

“Everyone in my life understands adoption,” Kellee said. “I couldn’t ask for a better support system.”

Travis is growing up fast. He’s developing a sense of humor, and loves to sneak up on Kellee and try to scare her. He can already count to 10, knows his colors and some of his letters.

Kellee knows the day will come when she’ll have to explain adoption to Travis, but in the meantime, she’s getting a lot of practice. She said children sometimes ask how she can be Travis’ mom since their skin tones don’t match, but she’s come up with a simple way to explain it.

“I tell them ‘Well, you know how you and your mommy’s hair match? Travis and I have the same heart. Our hearts match,’” Kellee said.

As for advice to other single men and women considering adoption, Kellee said “Go for it.”

“You have this unbelievable opportunity to provide a family for a child,” Kellee said. “These kids have been through the worst circumstances, but adoption can end up being the best thing in both your lives.”

Our Maryland girls are giving back to their community, and making some new friends along the way.

Six girls from the Crossroads Transitional Living Program have formed a partnership with Genesis Healthcare Center, a nursing facility in Baltimore.

On their first visit a few weeks ago, they socialized with the seniors and played games with them, and residents enjoyed their company so much that the girls were soon invited back.

For their second visit, they decided to put on a talent show for the residents. The girls, sang, played piano and read poems for the residents, but the highlight of the show was a line dance the girls did together. One 90-year-old woman was inspired to get out of her wheelchair to join in the dancing.

Melody Baker, program director for Crossroads, said the girls benefit from the interactions, too. She said the girls genuinely enjoy spending time with the residents, and are excited to spread smiles and laughter at the center.

“The girls get affirmation from the residents,” said Melody Baker, Crossroads program director. “The girls are very talented, and they love to perform, so it’s just a good fit.”

In their two visits, the girls have already started to bond with the seniors. The Genesis Activities Coordinator was so impressed with the joy they brought to the residents that she scheduled them for monthly visits.

“A lot of the residents are older, and don’t have family, and some of the girls don’t either so, it’s a great opportunity,” Baker said.

Baker said one of the life skills girls learn at Crossroads is to give back to their communities, and volunteering at Genesis is a perfect way to teach the girls about service. In the past, they’ve also volunteered at local soup kitchens and the humane society, but the partnership with Genesis marks their first ongoing project.

“A lot of times people do volunteer work around Christmas and Thanksgiving, but there are people in need all year round,” Baker said.

The Arrow Crossroads Community is a home for girls who are “aging out” of foster care to learn life skills for successful independent living. At Crossroads, they receive individualized assessments and training, therapeutic services and multidisciplinary treatment planning. Through progressive goal achievements, girls are able to earn the privilege of moving from a dorm-style setting to the less structured life of a cottage before leaving for independent life as adults.

Madison shows her donations at the Arrow office in Beaumont.

A special girl with a big heart recently used her birthday gifts to impact our Arrow kids.

Madison, the daughter of a couple who has been attending foster parent training at the Beaumont office, recently turned 10 years old, but instead of asking for toys for her birthday, Madison asked her friends to give her Bibles to give to Arrow foster children.

Madison stopped by the Beaumont office last week where she visited Jesse Lofton, a family home developer, who shared ministry stories with Madison, her sister and parents. When Jesse asked Madison why she wanted to give Bibles to our kids, she said “How else will foster kids find out God loves them?”

Thank you for your kind gift, Madison! It’s so encouraging to see the Lord working through young people like you!

Ken Keung presents Bethany Goodine with a surprise gift of a shadow box
containing one of his paint pallets. (Inset: Ken’s Scottish castle painting.)

Shortly after being rescued from an abusive home and placed into foster care with Arrow, Ken Keung was given two gifts that transformed his life—a safe place to call home, and a set of oil paints.

The paints, a Christmas gift from his new Arrow foster family, opened an outlet for him to express his feelings and communicate with those around him, which wasn’t always easy for the 16-year-old, who had recently come to the United States from China and wasn’t fluent in English.

But even with the language barrier, Ken’s foster parents recognized in him a gift for the fine arts, and wanted to encourage his talent.

“They provided a lot of help and were very patient with me, and they realized my potential,” Ken said. “After that, I couldn’t stop doing oil paintings.”

Ken’s first painting summed up his anxiety over the trauma his birth father put him through before moving in with his foster family. It was a mash-up of two famous paintings—Starry Night and The Scream.

“(My birth father) gave me a lot of really unpleasant experiences,” Ken said. “I didn’t really try to be social with people. I was reserved. At that time, my subjects were pretty dark. That first painting had lots of blues and lots of brush strokes, with this twisted figure in the middle.”

As Ken’s foster family helped him heal from those experiences, he transitioned into lighter subjects. Two years after entering foster care, he was placed with another Arrow foster family, but his new foster parents were just as supportive and encouraging of his art.

Soon, Ken began to think of art as more than a hobby. He kept in touch with Bethany Goodine, Arrow’s stewardship and communications coordinator and Ken’s former family ambassador specialist, who invited him to show some of his paintings at an event at her church.

One of the paintings Ken brought was a Father’s Day gift for his foster father, who loves Scottish culture. The painting is a landscape of a field with a Scottish castle. Ken didn’t intend to sell the painting, but a man who saw it at the event loved it so much that he offered Ken $1,000 to recreate one for him, which Ken did.

More recently, Ken used his painting skills to help Arrow. Last May, Ken sold four paintings at an auction and cocktail party that benefited Arrow’s Backpack Bash, an event which provides backpacks and school supplies to the foster and biological children of Arrow’s Houston-area foster parents. Ken’s paintings raised nearly $2,500 to go toward buying school supplies for the kids.

Ken, now 24, is studying art at Lone Star College with plans to move to Austin soon. His dream is to use his artistic know-how to restore old paintings for museums.

He said without the support of his Arrow foster parents and Bethany, he would not have had the same opportunities to grow as an artist.

“It’s not enough for me just to work hard myself,” Ken said. “My second foster family loves my paintings, and they encourage me so much. Right now they own four of my paintings in their house, and I will paint more because I feel like this is my home, and they treat me like a family member.”

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