Stephen and Jandy Brentlinger, Arrow foster parents with our Beaumont, Texas office, are very committed to their faith. They are just as committed to the foster children who come into their home. So when Stephen saw our recent Facebook post showing the great need for more foster families, he was compelled to write his own Facebook post to encourage others to consider fostering.
Below is Stephen’s impassioned post…

Fostering can be hard. It can be an emotional roller coaster. It’s a family decision that affects everyone in your household. It can test your patience, love, kindness, faith, and many other things. Sometimes it seems like it might even be too much to handle. People will comment that they don’t know how you could do it, or ask how you could love a child then watch them leave your home. There are days when you might even consider quitting and running away. We have.

But then you realize that everything is totally worth it. You realize that all the risk, all the heartache, all the tears, and all the possible pain are totally worth it. Why? Because it’s never about us in the first place. Our life should be about loving and serving others, and considering everyone else higher than ourselves. Our call to foster is about loving kids that are in desperate situations that they had no control over. It’s about putting the well-being of a child far above yours. It’s about extending love and grace to someone that desperately needs it, but is hopeless to receive it apart from you. Literally, you can affect a child’s life forever. Even if they leave your home, by your plan or the states plan.

You can’t know how it will turn out, and sometimes you won’t be happy with situations. But you CAN be love and grace to a child that so desperately wants to be loved. So desperately wants to be held, fed, and cared for. A child that was not loved enough to know how special and wonderful they are. The fear of the unknown could stop you in your tracks and keep you from fostering. Or maybe, your love for others could compel you to becoming a foster parent. You could realize that literally everyday children need foster homes, and you could stand up for the hopeless and needy, and love them with all your heart! Love them how they deserve to be loved, even if it hurts later. But you know what? They also could end up being your forever child! The only way to find out, is to foster. I beg you, think and pray about fostering.

If you’re still reading this, I’ll share in a couple of sentences how we handle fostering. To sum it up, we don’t handle it. Yep, we are selfish and not capable of handling it personally. We instinctively run from tough situations. But the good news for (my foster child), is that we serve and love a God that provides all we need. We serve a God that is much bigger than anything in the world, and can provide peace, patience, strength, energy, love, and everything else needed to foster. In short for us, God gives us the strength.

I once was lost, hopeless, and in desperate need of help. I was longing to be loved and cared for in ways I didn’t even understand. I had emptiness in my life and needed to be cared for in a way that I didn’t even know how to ask about. Then God ran. He ran to me in that moment and showed me the love, grace, and mercy I so desperately needed! When I was lost, God found me. I was empty, but God filled me. I didn’t even know what I needed, but God did. Fostering/Adoption is a perfect picture of what God has done for us.

Please call/message me if you want to talk about fostering or anything.

Would you consider fostering?

Beautifully said Stephen. Thank you Stephen and Jandy, for your caring hearts and your unselfish service to kids in need!

For information on the next information meeting in your area visit www.arrow.org/meeting

Jennie Sulfridge knows how difficult the holiday season can be for foster parents and their children.

Christmas parties, traveling to see relatives, shopping outings to crowded stores and more add up to one long, stressful month. As a veteran foster parent with four adoptive daughters of her own, Jennie wanted to give advice to foster parents struggling through the holidays, and reassure them that there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.

She recently orchestrated a foster parent lunch at the Arrow Headquarters in Spring. Jennie not only offered her time, but she and her daughters also provided appetizers and desserts, and even made decorations and centerpieces for the occasion. Jennie and her oldest daughter, Hannah, gave advice and answered questions for a room of about 50 foster parents.

One key piece of advice was for parents to make time for their children during the holiday season. Hannah called time the greatest gift a foster parent can give to their child, and Jennie agreed.

“Their lives haven’t ever been put first,” Jennie said. “Your time is your most valuable resource for them, so even when you don’t feel like it, it’s important to invest time in your kids.”

To make sure they made time for each other during the busy holiday season, Jennie made a special Advent calendar for herself and the girls. The calendar specified a new family activity to do together for each day leading up to Christmas, such as going ice skating, or looking at Christmas lights.

Jennie also urged parents to schedule time for peace and quiet during the holidays, and suggested letting foster children know ahead of time about holiday parties and family gatherings so they feel prepared.

But perhaps the most important piece of advice Jennie gave was to be flexible.

She gave the example of one Easter where her girls were having tantrums and breakdowns, so they didn’t end up celebrating the holiday until the Tuesday afterward.

Hannah urged patience for days when foster children continually misbehave. She said she tested Jennie’s boundaries shortly after she was placed in the home, and Jennie’s patience with her eventually lead to a breakthrough.

“I had a lot of doubts about if I’d actually stay,” she said. “But I remember one week, I was bad seven days in a row, and by day eight mom hadn’t given up on me. I was reassured that I wasn’t going anywhere.”

Instead of getting birthday presents from her friends, Emma Showalter decided to use her ninth birthday as an opportunity to collect books for Arrow foster children.

Emma said she got the idea after seeing the film Annie. The movie sparked a conversation about foster care between Emma and her mom, Jennifer Showalter. After discussing some of the difficulties kids in foster care face, Emma asked her mom “So what do we do? Do we just wish them well and send them on their way?”

That comment lead to a discussion about ways to help children in foster care, and eventually, Emma decided that she would use her upcoming birthday to collect books for Arrow foster kids.

Emma collected more than 100 books for the kids, and made bookmarks. She set up a table at the Spring office’s back to school event, where the kids could come and pick out a book and bookmark of their own.

“I liked giving out the books and bookmarks,” Emma said. “It was fun to see how excited the kids were when they got a book to keep.”

Thanks so much to the Showalter family! Emma’s heart for giving has truly inspired us.